Writes of Passage

Age isn't just a number

Mother v1.0

Since you are already somewhat introduced to the way my Mother’s mind works, it might be appropriate to give you more information. After all, this is the woman who raised me, and at age 91 (hers, not mine) has more impact on my day to day existence than any other. Some days are much better than others.

One of the funniest books I’ve ever read was the bestseller by Justin Halpern titled “Sh*t my Dad Says.” Sadly for Justin, his hilarious stories bombed on t.v. and the sequel book was nonsense. His dad had only so much “sh*t.” My mother, on the other hand, had very little so I won’t be getting a best seller out of her.  Yet I do think her axioms are all good enough to share for those of you who were not raised by a southern lady. Feel free to share mine.

  1. Always let the “little boy” win.  – Clearly, she knew some little boys I didn’t know, and also had never heard of equality. Nevertheless, no matter what game we were going to play while I was growing up, Mother always sent me off with that cheery advice. I can honestly say it is advice I have never followed.
  2. Don’t drink rum and coke. – WOW! I was getting ready to leave for college and this was the only piece of advice I got from a woman who I had never seen take a drink. To this day, I wonder what precipitated that nugget of knowledge. However, to this day I’ve never had rum and coke so that shows you my level of trust.
  3. Anything you do three times in a row becomes a habit. –  She finally hit it out of the park with this advice when I was raising my children. Those little minds have big memories. Ergo, night #3, you let them cry it out.
  4. Marry a poor boy with lots of ambition. – Truly easy to live by since I never knew any rich boys. I did date one that had a job stocking at Tom Thumb and he seemed rich at the time, but that didn’t last past high school.
  5. Don’t go out on a first date with someone who wouldn’t want to marry. You can’t help who you fall in love with. – I still can’t figure out how you know you wouldn’t want to marry someone if you didn’t go out with them but apparently, she had a secret list she never shared.
  6. S/he is so perfect in so many other ways. – This is unquestionably Dennis’s favorite. It beats the tar out of anything else you can say when someone screws up. After 40+ years of marriage, the other ways may be running out, but he will never know it with this admonition.
  7. A new broom sweeps clean. – Think about it. Every time you get a new boss, president, whoever, there are sweeping changes, right? It fits so much. So, this is my go-to excuse for anything I want to quit and pass on.
  8. And I close with our family favorite with full credit to my paternal grandmother: TAKE PIE WHILE IT’S PASSING. – I never go shopping without that forefront in my mind. If I see it, time to buy. After all, pie is passing and it may not be there when it goes around again. You would be amazed at how much “pie” there is in any given week.

And like my Mother’s advice, I encourage you to grab all the pie while it’s passing that you can, as long as you don’t drink it with rum and coke.

 

 

 

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Let’s start at the beginning

Every story has a beginning, so as the song says, that’s a very good place to start. It may help future readers if I introduce you to the cast of characters in my life, and believe me some are true characters in a cliché sort of way.

Starting with my birth on Halloween, which may have had something to do with a character trait according to some former students, things continued swiftly to being anything but ordinary. For openers, my Mother was insistent that they name me, her firstborn, Magnolia Blossom. My precious Dad held it over my head for years that I really owed him for talking her out of it during a long labor. Gratitude doesn’t even begin to explain how I feel.

Instead, Mother settled on naming me Catherine but called me Cathey from birth. After the Magnolia failure, the best she could do on short notice was naming me after a little girl who had died in a well. This is a true story, as they all will be no matter how far-fetched. In order to get my honesty in storytelling verified right from the start, feel free to “Google” Kathy Fiscus. Her death was a really big deal while Mother was pregnant with me, and you know how emotional pregnant women can be.

My mother, however, decided to spell my name with an “e” before the “y” causing me to have my name misspelled all my life. At some point in my youth, I  finally asked her why on earth she did this. Her reply? “I thought all those rounded letters looked good together.” I think that’s key to understanding why I’ve always been a little off plumb. I was raised with a woman who settled for extra rounded letters since she was thwarted from big white flowers.

I am sure there is little reason to mention by now that we’re southern. Even more than that, we have five generations born in Dallas and a bunch more born in Texas. That is supposedly unique. My answer to that is: look at our family tree and you’ll discover what unique really means.

Mother’s dad, my Pappa, was born in Dallas in 1901, but the only reason that’s interesting is a story that may come later. Her Mom, my Nannie, didn’t move to Dallas from Ballinger, Texas until she was two. That was in 1902 if you’re the chronologically inclined type. My dad’s parents were farmers in northern Texas up by Wichita Falls and moved to the big city of Dallas when he was about three. That too played a big hand in my fate.

I have one sibling, a sister, named Carolanne, who I call CAGS when texting. She is four and one-half years younger than I am, but we were five grades apart in school. Other than when she annoyed me, I never really paid much attention to her after the cute baby years. We have met as adults in a way many adult children do – bonding over how in the hell are we going to deal with our Mother now!

Mother will be 91 this May and is quite the handful. Daddy died in 2008 after my parents had a true Ronnie and Nancy type marriage for 60 years. We all miss him, but never more so than when we are having to deal with Mother. He did that so well.

I am married to the greatest love of my life, Dennis and we have one living child, Craig, (see www.withoutLaura.com) who is not only the most wonderful son in the whole world, he also gave us two of the greatest gifts any person will ever have in this life – perfect grandsons. Craig also gave us a gift when he married his wonderful wife, LeAnn, who is another incredible addition to our family tree. It doesn’t require mentioning that we think Craig is darn smart to do all that for us!

For future fast reference, here is the cast list:

Cathey Weigel, your author

Dennis Weigel, her amazing husband

Craig Weigel, best son ever

LeAnn Weigel, daughter-in-law love

Perfect grandson #1, also known as the second coming in our world

Perfect grandson #2, known as perfect grandson #2

“Mother,” a southern belle of a generation long gone

CAGS, the sister I really never knew until Mother grew up

Let’s see where this takes us from here.  

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